Sore!

I have just spent the majority of this week being sore.

I think I slept wrong on Tuesday--I couldn't move my head much to look over my right shoulder. And then on Wednesday, it got worse--a different sort of sore kept my left shoulder pretty stationary.

Between that and the cold snowy blustery yech that it is outside--I didn't do much last night. I played Farmville (which I should quit. But I've been saying that for the past few months), and I finally wrote a blog post again, and that's about it. That's about all I could fit in--though I had time.

Oh, and I almost fell asleep on my couch. It was pretty close. Instead, I went to bed early!! Shocking!! Well, like 11-ish.

Somehow or other, though, I've been just feeling lazy and have had no inspiration. I don't know if it's because I'm sore, or because it's deeply January and the weather played a trick on me, or if it's because I've been so busy with the rest of my life--teaching at the YMCA, my regular job, my writing of articles (which I've gotten somewhat lax with)--that I don't want to do anything else, or what, exactly--but I do feel lazy. Which makes me unhappy. I pull up my short stories and think, "I'm going to revise this!" But instead, I'm having my own personal Psych marathon (I love that show. I love James Roday. Oh, my.), and I'm wasting time as possible, and I'm not really working on what I want to...

I just have to trust that I'll get myself back in the game, I guess. And in the meantime, I'll just take the little things in, things that may end up inspiring me later.

Oh, and maybe I'll reread the lovely letter I got from a dear, longtime friend, today--actual mail. Oh, how I love mail!

INTERNET!

Do you know how difficult it is to live without internet?

It's so easy to be so completely addicted to it. Especially in this world, where we are so used to instant communication, to downloading whatever we need. Information overload!

And now, I finally have it again. I didn't have it for so long, and that was difficult. Now, I'm back in the world wide web network! I am in, like Flynn! I'm back, baby! And all that jazz!

So, thrilled to be able to finally focus on my writing, as the internet is surely able to do, being as it can do anything--or at the least, ready to do whatever I need to do as it comes up, and hopefully save myself time--what do I do?

I start writing...and end up watching Glee. Wow.

You know, I totally did miss almost every episode of theirs!

Thank Heavens for the Internet...

Inspiration, or lack thereof

I have a friend who tagged me in a note on Facebook with a very interesting idea--pasted below.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OK boys and girls. I need some help. I thought being unemployed would be a perfect time to work on some more artwork, but strangely, I have found that living in one the most artistically cool cities in the world is not improving my inspiration.

I do have one idea, but I need your help.

I would like to do a series of paintings that are inspired from lines or phrases out of a literary work. Can be a poem, a line from a book, music lyrics, quote, whatever. Think similar to explodingdog.com, but with less robots.

So basically, I want you to think of the titles of my painting, and then I will paint it! sound good? great!

send away!
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So, lately I feel like I've been working toward working with people. And I would like to help her. I feel like it would make me a more artsy person. But here's the deal--I'm not sure I'm artsy. Or able. Or inspiring.

I recently decided that my life is very similar to that of George in "It's a Wonderful Life." I, too, desire to travel. I, too, am anchored to my family--I am very close to my parents and my brother, and I love them very much, and I love being in the same city as them. Mom and I do have a lot of fun together, and we are friends. But sometimes I wonder if that's holding me back. Not that George was held back. He thought he was, but he was the, ahem, inspiration for many and many of the citizens of that sorry old town. Heavens to Betsy, he kept the world from turning into Pottersville!

Yes, I'm a huge fan of the movie.

I thought to myself, well, at least in the future I will realize that I have made a difference, and I ran off down the hallway of my parents house shouting, "Zuzu's petals! Zuzu's petals!" Just because I liked it, the way it felt, the feeling of elated understanding.

Till my brother reminded me, yes, George had done wonderful things...and I hadn't.

Not to turn this into a sobfest for my lack of intricate connection to this world. Not to make this mean I haven't done anything. I know I've talked to some people, cheered some people, affected some people in some small way--it's practically impossible not to affect someone, when we live in society, when we live in a community. But I have not saved a boy who would save a platoon, I have not affected a community in some large way, I have not kept Pottersville from the world. So what have I done?

I've written stuff. I've wanted to write for the longest time, and I've wanted to share for the longest time. I can't even do much with my own blog, so that's obviously not going so well. This was to turn into my legacy...instead, it's become more of a hobby with dreams of a future.

I've loved my family and my friends. Everything about them has affected me. I've hoped that I have also affected them.

I have worked to excel at work, to succeed financially as best as I could at this moment, to prepare for my future. That's a biggie, for me. I'm always worried, especially now, that I will never be able to retire. Which is quite funny, as I'm something of a work-a-holic. Though not that badly of one.

I've given back. Or tried to. Done some work for the community, taught and mentored younger children, etc. Taught Sunday School. To three-year-olds. Need I say more?

So, I've done something, and small though it may be, you never know the impact. I suspect that's the case for everyone, really.

One person's thoughts and manners affect others, as well. And you never know what will happen, what will occur.

So to my friend, I think I will post that moment of inspiration that rises and falls through my mind, regardless of what anyone says or what I view my accomplishments as, to this date.

Zuzu's petals!