This post is filled with blinding self-pity, so you shouldn't read it. FYI.
What in the world am I doing?
Trying to write a book? Trying to write at all? What in the world makes me feel that I am qualified to write anything?
And this--my first novel. How is *that* going to go over? First novels shouldn't sell. Right? Even if they've been gone through and changed hundreds of times, quite literally? This isn't what I started with. But is what I'm ending with any better?
Why is this even important to me? How is this going to make a difference? If I sell this book, will it actually sell to anyone else? How does one become creative, and how come I seem to be lacking the creative gene? And how am I to cover for it, and continue on?
OK. End message.